My Love Is As Sharp As A Needle In Your Eye
by BipolarMolar
Summary: Human AU. London is full of cold, uncaring people. Crowley loathes them all. But when he catches sight of the beautiful Aziraphale, a true gentle soul of infinite kindness, he thinks perhaps he is capable of love after all. And if the mysterious bookshop owner rejects him? Well, Crowley will love him enough for the both of them. Dark!Crowley stalker fic.


Crowley had gifted him with a new telephone. Unlike his trusty bakelite, this one was small and light grey, a mobile phone like the humans had. The screen was glass, and when he touched it, it illuminated. Crowley had informed him it was made by someone called Sam Sung.

"I didn't want to get you Apple. All the trouble that had caused!" Crowley had said, grinning. Sometimes, the things he said flew right over Aziraphale's head. He didn't mind though - Crowley never questioned his intelligence. And no matter what Crowley was saying, whether it was a rant about traffic or a silly impression of Gabriel, whether he was smiling or frowning, Aziraphale always paid attention. This wasn't a difficult thing to do, because Crowley instinctively commanded attention, no matter what he was saying or doing. Aziraphale liked listening to him, looking at him. Long evenings, mind heavy under the fog of wine, he'd listen, rapt, let his eyes travel across those white, jagged planes of flesh, a sharp jaw shadowed with stubble, the rich gold eyes, the flame-red hair. Something about him was so captivating. He was like a living portrait.

He appreciated the gesture and he supposed it was time to adapt to this new technology, but goodness, the phone was so bothersome. So complicated, so many different features to it. And the screen was too sensitive, he kept triggering it without meaning to.

As it stood, he currently had forty-eight photographs in the phone's gallery, all of his ear. Somehow, he kept activating the camera when attempting to call. A camera in a telephone. Really, humans were so clever. He liked the gesture and he very much liked the prospect of being able to contact Crowley wherever he was (especially since the good old red phone booths were so rare nowadays) but he was honestly struggling to use the phone. And, not that he'd admit it, his ignorance regarding this piece of technology made him feel a little foolish.

He was dusting the shelves that housed the Dickens novels when he heard a familiar voice. _Crowley._ He spun around, but there was no auburn hair or supercilious smirk to greet him. Strangely, the sound seemed to be emanating from his own trousers. Aziraphale caught sight of the glowing rectangle of light, roughly where his pocket would be. Oh, that silly phone, he'd called Crowley without meaning to.

"Angel? Angel, you there?" Crowley's muffled voice didn't sound too irritated, thank heavens. Hopefully, he hadn't been kept on the line too long.

He fumbled with the phone, seeing his dear friend's name flash on the screen. Such a simple word filled him with such joy. "Oh, Crowley, I _am_ sorry about that. I'm using the phone you got me! I believe this is what you'd call a - uh, a booty call?"

Crowley made a disbelieving sound. Sort of a cross between a gasp and a snort. "A...booty call? Really?"

"Blasted phone. What's it doing now?" Aziraphale squinted at the screen. Somehow, his touch had conjured up something called Goggle, but instead of advertising eyewear, it was informing him it was Uruguay Independence Day. Well, that was good news for Uruguay, but it didn't help him with his phone problem. Good thing, he had a tech-savvy demon at his disposal.

He swiped distractedly and spoke louder."Isn't that what the humans call it? I was hoping you could help me out with it, actually."

"Help you?" Crowley squeaked. Aziraphale pressed the phone closer to his ear. He hadn't believed his demon amigo capable of making such a sound.

"Yes, it's been frustrating me, I'm getting quite hot and bothered, I can tell you. Oh, it makes me feel so embarrassed."

"You don't need to feel embarrassed," Crowley said quickly. There was a loud slamming sound, possibly his car door. "Look, I'm coming over now, I'll help you out, don't - just stay there, okay? I'll be right over - actually, do you need me to bring anything?"

"Well, if you're planning on dropping by, some wine would be nice."

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea. It'll...help."

Aziraphale wasn't sure how inebriation would help his technological issues - although it would cheer him up, he supposed. "Alrighty, you pick out a nice vintage, pop over here and we'll put our heads together. Pip-pip."


End file.
